It’s my fault….so says my ego…

Beating myself up, holding onto anxiety in my heart and feeling utterly hopeless…qualities I’m not proud of and wish I didn’t suffer damn it. But right now I’m allowing just a little self paranoia seep into my day…dwelling on mistakes is never a healthy past time, less still imaginary arguments.

I have been making mindless mistakes recently, and to the cost of my professional reputation. I’ve always been a tad ditzy, I put this down to general trying to do too much and a creative mind. But random excuses can’t help the awful realisation of some of my forgetfulness.

I honestly worry about it, my ego runs wild with out of control thoughts, wondering what on earth others must think of me…how stupid I am to forget a meeting full of people waiting for me…silly image mistakes with fellow bloggers… Confidence falls away and childlike fear replaces rational thoughts! I end up into such a tizz and everything and anything will set me off!

Thankfully I have the saving grace of an incredible hubby, family, friends, yoga and meditation. The art of practicing self love, manifesting positive affirmations and checking into my emotions has helped me reduce my anxieties no end… and I can highly recommend Dr Habib Sadeghi’s book Within

I’m sure this is a classic case of ‘mothers guilt’ and trying to ‘achieve it all’… sometimes I just need to let the ego go, forgive my memory, let go of the anxiety and go for a run…or pour a cheeky G&T! Either way, I now have to be mindful of how lucky I am, who I have in my life and be grateful for all my amazing work and opportunities … Now where’s the Hendricks!!…

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6 thoughts on “It’s my fault….so says my ego…

  1. Hey old fruit, make it a double! You’re totally fab and for what it’s worth I’ve always thought you a real pro and a cut above the rest. You are WAAAAAY too hard on yourself. I’m ditzy and forgetful too, tis more fun than being a diary slave! Hero xx

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