colourful confessions…

I know…the last thing anyone wants to discuss right now is alcohol….or money…or the weather…or anything else that the bleak UK Januarys normally bring to the nation. So it’s really refreshing when someone has something hilarious to bring to our hot water & lemon detox n diet misery.

A friend of mine…I’ll call her Phallic Stalker again, (she likes it that way), had a party during that no-man’s-land bit between Christmas and New Year – she plied guests with a magical drink containing cava, vodka & elderflower cordial…this is where it becomes interesting. Originally the night was planned around karaoke, but conversations around the dinner table led to a two-truths-&-a-lie game instead – glad I wasn’t there to be honest…for many many reasons!

Turns out this is the best way one can acquaint ones self to fairly new friends…

First confession, (this was two people – on separate occasions) – having to ‘go’ in their cars whilst stuck in a traffic jam after drinking litres of water…only because they were either crying with pain or had work-men either side of them, (apparently they both said it seemed to go on for about half an hour)…

Second confessor offered coffee to a new man she’d just met, (back at her place), he was sober…she really wasn’t and whilst making coffee for the poor man, took her top off and brought out the tray – newly pulled bloke exclaimed ‘you’re not wearing anything’ – she replied, ‘I know, I’m boobless…I mean topless’…no reply…she then responded with ‘we can draw faces on them if you like ?’….the man later became her husband…!

Third confessor was related to Larry Grayson…(hilariously camp man who presented the Generation Game in the 70’s…’Shut That Door’ was his favourite catch phrase)…

Fourth confessor did a solo pub crawl, half an hour behind the stag and team…each pub he went to, (on his own), he’d take random pictures of himself drinking with other unsuspecting drinkers…he did eventually catch up with the rest of the stag do….sad but funny all in one go!

And finally there was a truth that hadn’t meant to go that way, but I know if I post it, I may not have that person as a friend any more…lets just say it was an intimate confession that will now be ingrained into all guests minds for evermore – this is why you have to be careful with these things….people have a habit of talking! Some even have a habit of blogging!

Ah well, the above had a little group in fits of laughter, which has since spread to a larger group – more funny comments are clearly welcome – something to lift the grey clouds at least….go on…I won’t tell!!…

4 thoughts on “colourful confessions…

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